I am told that it's high time for me to post a complete and thorough explanation for the many hints I've been dropping as of late. So, in keeping with the fashion of this blog, I shall TELL you this story... in the form of an incredibly stupid comic.
Once upon a time, very long ago, (eight whole years ago, to be precise) a girl named Anna found herself wandering around an unfamiliar parish one Sunday.
The people that had brought her to this place had run off, so she went in search of her sister.
She spotted her sister talking to a mysterious stranger.
When Anna took a better look at this mysterious stranger...
...She fell madly in love.
Anna spent the next several years of her life dreaming about a glorious romance with this man.
However, although she and him had become good friends over this time, she was well aware that this romance would never come about.
Probably mostly due to the fact that she had looked in a mirror during her life.
To spare herself heartbreak, Anna did the only thing she could think of to do in this situation.
She moved to the opposite side of the country!
...Not taking into account that:
A. He no longer lived in Texas anymore either anyway, and
B. Neither of their physical locations had any effect on the already scheduled weekly online chats between their two families.
Thus, Anna began to manufacture reasons for not showing up at the aforementioned weekly online chats.
It was a foolproof plan.
Time wore on, and slowly the idea that maybe there WAS hope for this romance began to creep back to Anna. (There were less mirrors in her new place of residence.)
...Until she received what she could only interpret as absolute, definitive evidence that in fact... no. It was never going to happen.
She reacted to this information by listening to copious amounts of Keaton Henson music, and watching TV shows about android girls who decide to destroy the universe in reaction to being jilted.
She basically did this until she was sick of it.
At which point, she felt she had completely gotten over this guy at long last, and was ready to return to being a contributing member of society.
And more time went on. The weekly online chats continued, amicably as before.
Until one day last December when he asked her out.
GamerintheZone: Hey Anna, would you maybe... go out with me?
...Was all she could think of to say before going into total panic mode.
She panicked and flailed and pretended that the fire desperately needed tending for a good ten minutes before realizing she couldn't leave him hanging with nothing but "um."
She CAUTIOUSLY and TENTATIVELY said...
And so it was that the two of them began planning to meet up in Houston for Easter, at which point they would go on a date. Anna was completely bamboozled, but began to wonder if maybe all her wildest dreams were finally coming true?
At which point
THE NAYSAYER APPEARED.
The Naysayer heard Anna's thoughts questioning her absolute lack of capacity for romance, and materialized to offer helpful counter-arguments.
Easter drew near, and every romantic chat conversation, phone call, or any other form of communication was speedily disproved by the unquestionable wisdom of the Naysayer.
The Naysayer helpfully accompanied Anna on the plane down to Houston.
...And then to meeting up with him.
The Naysayer... found it pretty hard to argue with that.
The Naysayer did the only thing it could think of to do in this situation.
Leaving Anna and her new boyfriend to simply enjoy one another's company for the duration of their time in Houston.
Of course, they both did have to go back to their respective homes after Easter, and Anna, back where she was before, sometimes still hears the Naysayer's ghost offering insightful comments as to the reality of the situation.
Fortunately, photographic evidence works pretty well against Naysayers.
And though the story hasn't quite gotten to its 'happily ever after' just yet, there's still something of a moral. Which I suppose is: breaking your heart over a guy for eight years can be worth it if you give him a chance...
...Because maybe he's the one who'll be able to fix it.
(That or: Keep evidence in the court record to use against Naysayers, or any other dimension-hopping imp you might come across. Or maybe just buy a bug zapper.)